For the past two days, my posts have been intentionally self-deprecating. This tactic can be used to make someone seem more human, and by that, more likable. Mild self-criticism can often be seen as a strength. However, recently I heard John McCain start off a sentence with, "I may not be the smartest person in the world, but..." He has also made comments like "I may be older than dirt, but" and "I may have more scars than Frankenstein, but". Senator McCain is running for the ONE position in the world where this strategy will NOT work. We have already discussed how our populace wrongly looks for divine perfection in a President who will solve their problems for them, save the day, etc. People are LOOKING for the smartest person in the world, Senator. So, pretend it's you. It's the only chance you have.

So, if someone's walking directly behind me in the hallway, I never know what to do with my arms. I suddenly become conscious of my stride, and try to control it into a cool swagger, only to realize how restricting it must look, since a "natural" gait, by definition, must be the most natural way I can walk. How many people consciously walk?

So, let's say I grab a drink from the drinking fountain at work. After quenching my thirst, I will take one last swig and not swallow it until roughly I get back to my desk. Or, let's say I send something to the printer at work. I take a drink from my glass and don't officially swallow until after I'm roughly near the printer. This habit of mine only became a conscious one when along this walk I was greeted by a coworker and I gave a bubbly "helgh", swallowed, then gave a gasped "hello" after they were 20 feet away. What is this?? Is this a survival skill I inherited from my chipmunk ancestors? Anyone else crazy like me?

After hearing yet ANOTHER touchy-feely dentist story this weekend, it made me ask an important question: Do molesters go into the field of dentistry knowing that they'll get the opportunity to gas people asleep and then touch them while they're under? Or when presented with that same opportunity, would all of us succumb to the overwhelming temptation of assault? Similarly, are there any kids who like inhaling nitrous oxide recreationally and think, "Man, what do I have to do to get my hands on more of this stuff?" and apply to dental school the next day? More specifically, I guess the question is, are there any people who become dentists for good-old-fashioned reasons...like money?

Ever hear how Easter traditions are mostly pagan-based? Christmas too? I actually think they make perfect sense. We celebrate both occasions by getting something for nothing. Regardless of merit, you are given gifts just because you are loved. So...Happy Easter! Go find some Jesus eggs.

Why do people think going to Africa is the answer? Sometimes, I hear people say they're going to take a couple weeks off and go work with a non-for-profit in Africa. That's awesome! But, these are people who currently don't do to help poverty locally. Do they think that going to the MOST impoverished place counts double or something? And I wonder if anyone actually goes to bring relief to South America? 'cause they're farther than my local soup kitchen, but not as cool sounding as Africa.

Do pinstripe pants require a matching jacket?

Why would I want a democracy where EVERYONE'S voice can be heard if I can get a theocracy that rules EXACTLY how I believe God wants it to be?

At work, I turn off my monitor every night. The people who leave theirs on drive me crazy. I drive the guy next to me crazy, because he shuts down his entire computer every night. On the highway, people going faster than me are crazy and people going slower are sissys. So, to those people, respectively, I'm a sissy and a crazy as well, right? The guy who doesn't kiss his wife until they're married. C'mon. The guy who eats more donuts than me. Disgusting. Why do I automatically assume my moral compass as flawless, and judge anyone with looser restrictions as pagan, and anyone with tighter restrictions, a prude? Maybe because I don't want to consider that I could be doing something wrong?

Should deaf people be allowed to get driver's licenses? I bet being born deaf and inheriting deafness affects you very differently. People born deaf probably could be amazing drivers, because their vision is probably much more reactive than mine. But, if I went deaf tomorrow, I'd probably start running over pedestrians and getting run down by ambulances pretty quick. So, what do we do? Just see if they can pass the regular test? That'd probably be much less divisive than my other driving test idea.