December 31, 2009

I Want Our Generation to Take Over Signage

Going to Midway Airport the other week to make a pickup, the much less confusing airport in Chicago, I still got lost two times. Signage currently only acts as a reminder for people who have already successfully made the route before. It rarely is good enough to correctly navigate a newbie. I want our generation to take over this task. Hopefully next year?

December 30, 2009

Censor Yourselves

"Say something worth saying, or don't say it." - Sabai

December 29, 2009

The Fallacy of Health Care Public Option “Competition”

If you've been paying attention to the healthcare debate, a lot of Democrats have been pitching the public option, although currently off the table, as a means of bringing "competition" to the private insurers. This is a brilliant vocabulary tactic that they were surely trained to use. Of course, this only works if you're dealing with idiots. A subsidized federal option with the power to impose mandated regulations is not competition. It is a prelude to a monopoly - much like bringing a shotgun to a knife fight. But in terms of vocabulary, it's smart. It'll get fiscal conservatives to think twice about why they're booing, and get supporters to not think about the negative economics of progressive healthcare policies at all.

December 28, 2009

The Necessity of a Winter Christmas

Most historians believe Jesus was either born in March or April. None believe December 25th was the actual birth date. This date originally became tradition as the church sought to redeem a previously Pagan winter holiday. But, isn't it great that Christmas is in the middle of the worst season of the year? It's this nice warm, beacon of light that helps break up the horrible cold. You don't even really think about how gross it is outside until after Christmas, because of the anticipation that precedes it. And after the holiday rush is over, there's only a few months of horrible left before spring comes again. If we celebrated Christmas in March, we'd simply create something else to break up the cold. Or maybe New Years would be even bigger than it is?

December 24, 2009

Let’s Gather this Christmas and Whip Sinners

Instead of celebrating the birth of Christ this year by singing quaint songs, go out and whip some tax collectors instead.
Merry Christmas.

December 23, 2009

Why William McKinley Sucked: The Song

#25. William McKinley

D, Em, C

I promised not to intervene
But you see, that’s not what I mean
‘cause now I see the benefit
of buying other governments

Puerto Rico
and the Philippines

but I’m a good guy. Can’t you see?
‘cause Spain was even worse than we

Buy your enemies
Across the seas
Says William McKinley
I don’t want to rule your lives
But it’s the only way to make sure no one else can

December 22, 2009

Why Are Billboards Still Legal?

...when many cities have already banned cell phone use while driving? More specifically, at what level do city revenue prospects have to reach before ignoring the safety risks of these things? And if there is such a number, how much does Motorola have to pay off cities to stop these bans?

December 21, 2009

Marry for Money

Considering that "money problems" is one of the greatest reasons people give for getting divorced, should we should pay more attention to our potential partner's financial situation before we get hitched? Yeah, that sounds bad. But, I think it's something we should think about more than we do. Because I have poor friends who fall in love with poor people (neither knowing about the other's financial situation), and simply put, it's really tough on them. Whereas falling in love with someone who has strong financial backing from their family can be a huge blessing, and allows you to start your marriage with one less giant thing to worry about. So, don't marry for money. But, at least think about it.

December 18, 2009

Why Tiger Woods Thought He Could Get Away With It…

Because he had for so long. If even 10% of the accusations surrounding him right now are true, Woods did a wonderful job of covering his tracks for years. It seems unbelievable to us. But perhaps we underestimate the power of a lot of money. And that's why big names in politics and entertainment continue to take massive risks. Because they really believe they can get away with it.

December 17, 2009

Why Benjamin Harrison Sucked: The Song

#23. Benjamin Harrison

Em, C, G, D
if I raise the tariffs, more and more will buy American
so if I raise them higher, we’ll be rolling in the Benjamins
not named after me of course
I hope you’ll see why after this

G, C, D, D
in war they say, raise the tariffs
but in peace, I say raise ‘em higher
we’ll get more money
we can spend on everybody
it’s a perfect situation
just don’t look at what you’re paying

‘cause tariffs make everything cost more
‘cause it keeps the competition out of our doors
the Harrison family presidential legacy
William Henry dies a lot and then there’s me
1 2 3 26