I didn't go to the dentist for a year and a half. And I got 5 cavities.

Surely, the preventative care I avoided was at least a partial cause of this. And by avoiding 2 check-ups that would have cost me $0 (outside my deductible), I had to pay over $300 out-of-pocket for the 5 cavities, with my insurer covering the other $700.

Because of my laziness/fear of dentists, we both lost.

The $0 check-up was not an effective motivator for me. But what if they fined me? What if I agreed to an insurance plan that would fine me $30 if I didn't go to my twice-a-year preventative check-ups?

I would have gone. I would have $300 extra in my pocket right now. And my insurance provider would have an extra $700.

Are we on to something here?

(Yes, I considered the idea of the provider giving me a $30 bonus for going to the appointment, rather than the punishment for not. But, A) that's a worse deal for the insurance provider, so it would be harder to get their buy-in on. B) psychologically, humans have a greater aversion to loss than a motivation for gain, so it would probably be more effective this way as well.)

Ever order a dozen donuts from your favorite donut shop, and then get really disappointed when you open the box with what you ended up with?

Don't order a "random assortment" ever again.

No one likes plain donuts. Absolutely no one. And sure, some people have the occasional favorite oddity like Bavarian Creme. But trying to guess the weird ones for each person in your office will only leave you with a half-full box by day's end.

Here's the reality. The 'average' person prefers a chocolate donut, statistically. So at the very least, if you're in a hurry, order "a dozen random assortment of chocolate donuts."

The last time I asked a librarian for help, it was because I needed her to manually place a hold on a movie I was looking to rent that wasn't available in my location's network. Before that, I wanted to know where the fax machine was. Before that, I think I was 11.

The role of the librarian has become increasingly unnecessary. Why?

Because ancient databases have evolved to become more user-friendly. Librarians aren't the lone guardians of information anymore. Knowledge has been democratized.

Is this a bad thing?

No. This is a wonderful thing. 99.99% of the populace benefits. But there will be less librarians needed. Some say I'm cold for not thinking of the .01%. I say you're out of your mind for not prioritizing the 99.99%.

If you do any research on the placebo effect, your mind will be blown at how powerful the human mind is. But, I wonder if too much of our time is spent on considering the power of "positive" placebos?

What about negative placebos? What about when we get tricked into thinking we feel bad?

If a doctor can give me sugar pills that make my "allergy headaches" go away, perhaps the times that I'm feeling bad, I really don't?

Why haven't I done a post on Charlie Sheen yet? Because I haven't come to any conclusions. But what spurred me to reach out today was this tweet by Rainn Wilson. "Charlie Sheen was the best thing that ever happened to Mel Gibson." And that helped me realize one thing. I'm not mad at Charlie Sheen at all. Charlie Sheen's "self-destruction" is less angering to me than the violent, rage-filled outbursts from Mel Gibson, Alec Baldwin and Christian Bale. Perhaps I'm willfully ignoring the verbal abuse from Sheen's previous relationships, which ex-wife Denise Richards claims. It's probably because I didn't hear it myself. Whereas, I heard Mel's. I heard Alec's. I heard Christian's. But right now, I simply hear the claims of a man who thinks he's the greatest in the world. And I have this debate with people a lot. That it is impossible for Michael Jordan to be arrogant. That's why I presented the question yesterday. While I think and have blogged that Two and a Half Men is a disgrace to the human conscience, it's the most popular comedy on television. Why wouldn't he think he's special? He is.

Is it possible for Michael Jordan to be arrogant?

My premise:
It is literally impossible for Michael Jordan to be arrogant in his basketball playing abilities, because he truly is the best in the world.

What say you?
(Trust me, I'm going somewhere important with this tomorrow. #winning)

As you get older, your birthdays likely get less and less fun.

Less mini-golf and pizza at your parties. Less presents. A year closer to earthly death. So, what can we do to instill some fun into these birthday "celebrations"?

What about giving the person a gift card worth their age in dollars? That way, they see a direct positive benefit for being as old as they are?

When my favorite deep dish pizza in Chicago launched a video contest to win a year's supply, I knew I had to create an entry.

Let the blog record show that I have pledged my allegiance to Lou Malnati's many times in the past. And for that proven consistency, I ask for your help and support.

1. Go "Like" Lou Malnati's on their Fan Page.
2. Go to 'Contests' in the left navigation, and click 'View Entries'
3. Find my song, give me a thumbs up and leave a nice comment.

I would greatly appreciate it, and in exchange for your support, you will be invited to the massive pizza party I'd throw if we win!

My wife is renting a maternity dress for her baby shower. This is really smart, because that is a dress you will likely only wear once.

But, here's the reality. MOST dresses are dresses women only wear once. Because you're crazy. And you think that the world will judge you with contempt - even if you wear it to two separate weddings that have absolutely no overlap of social circles.

Maternity dress rental makes sense. But so does dress rental of every kind. The only reason this business doesn't explode is because or irrationality.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled 8-1 in favor of the Westboro Baptist Church free speech case. Right when the news came out, people wondered who the lone dissenter on the court was (turned out to be Justice Samuel Alito).

I immediately thought of a punchline that I thought was hysterical... and realized there was nowhere I could safely share it.

My Facebook circle is simply too big. I have family on there. Lots of church friends. Too many people that either wouldn't get, or would be offended by broad humor.

In 99% of these cases, I go to Twitter. My Twitter followers are equal parts strangers, equal parts friends. Much more of a homogeneous group. But the problem with Twitter is that your punchline just sits there on its own. Even if you reply to someone specifically. The punchline sits in your feed without the other person's setup. And this one definitely wouldn't look right on its own.

Ok, my punchline to "I wonder who the lone dissenter was in the Westboro Baptist Church ruling..." that never went out was, "Probably some God-hating fag."

Even here, in my MOST homogeneous group of online friends, I bet only 30% of you laughed at that. 60% don't get it. And 10% get it and still think it's inappropriate.

Should I just call up individuals next time, rather than trying to cause laughter en masse?