You know what I don't understand? Malaria nets! What kind of crazy super-villain fisherman are buying these things and  going around trying to catch it anyway?

This past week at church, a 13-ish year old girl in front of me spent the entire service texting. I can only assume this will be a growing problem, and I also assume that some churches will publicize a "texting" ban in services.

Why don't we work harder on engaging this girl instead?

Improving our communication styles. Shortening our sermons. Making the information more relevant She's not the only one who gets bored in church. The rest of us are just too scared to publicly show it.

"How old do you think she is?"

Sometimes it's easy to guess. But do you realize why? It's not always wrinkles. For one, it's because hair styles are generational. No teenage girls have the "mom" hair cut. But the single greatest clue we have is clothing.

I recently made the mistake of assuming that a 40-year old man from our church was IN the youth group he was leading. He was shocked at my mistake.

But the dude dresses hip. He dresses like the 16-year old kids he's in charge of. And 99% of 40 year old's don't. For the most part, they give up trying to look 20 around 30. Or perhaps it's simply that what you wear when you're 20 doesn't stay hip through an extra two decades of fashion?

Now, I want to follow this guy's lead. I want to fool people. Because before this, I had no idea how much clothes made the boy. But they really do.

Recently, an 11-year old girl got some Internet notoriety for her foul mouth and highly provocative language on an online video chatting site. During one of these recorded chats, when someone calls her a lewd name, she replies, "Anything for fame." That idea simply never made sense to me. And this is coming from a guy who, from the age of 8, always assumed he would BE famous one day. I think the difference is simply that I wanted to achieve something the fame would arise from. I want to be the guy who takes the suck out of Christian music. I want to be the guy who makes people re-question the blind authority we give our leaders. I want to write things that make people question the way they live. The idea of getting to be famous without earning it doesn't seem fun.

I start my new job today.

It's too late to fake an accent, because I met most of these people during the interview process. But what aspects of my personality should I most try to reflect this first week? And what should I hide?

After all, it's blank slate time. I could be anyone. What should my first first impression be?

Remember on Monday when I said we needed to see a baby drenched in oil in order to really empathize with the Gulf Spill. Artist Jane Fulton obviously understands this. Check out her work.

My dad was a firm believer in a hard day's work. That's why the only hand-outs he ever gave homeless people were pistachios.

This shouldn't be happening. If you're not on welfare, you should not be using disposable razors.

"Oh, but the real ones are so expensive."
A) No, they're really not, because....
B) They last 5 times longer and more importantly
C) They don't make you bleed!

So, all of you ladies who are still using disposable razors, please do yourself a huge favor and buy one nice razor just to give it a try. I am 100% confident you'll never go back. Stop living in caveman days, with bloody, stubbly caveman legs.

I haven't seen a 3D movie in the the new format yet.

But for those of you who have, do you think a 3D TV would be cool to have in your home? Does it only make sense for super action movies? Sports? Would you feel like an idiot wearing glasses at home?

Before you buy your next flat-screen TV, let's think about the future of television for a minute.

Odds are, you're going to be getting it through your computer. Whether it's Hulu.com, Netflix, another Internet subscription or a la carte payment per show through the networks themselves, your computer is going to be your hub for televised entertainment.

So, you could route your computer to display the picture on your HD TV, but that expensive TV is now just serving as a monitor. There's no real need for most of the costly electronic components that come with it. Your computer is serving that purpose.

You just need a rectangle. So wouldn't hooking an HD projector up to your computer mean a much bigger picture for a much lower investment?

Why not?