August 31, 2009

Power Mart

There is a Power Mart gas station at 127th and Ridgeland in Palos Heights, a suburb SW of Chicago. I was in the area the other day, stopped by on a whim, and left mesmerized by their marketing brilliance. On the gas pump was a note that said "5 cents off a gallon if you pay in cash." Now, loyal reader Brent recently told me this was illegal, but they're doing it. I walked inside to hard-wood floors, beautifully displayed wine racks, and a SEPARATE deli/food stand inside the gas station. This is important. Now, you're not getting your hot dog at the Power Mart but at a local deli. Last but not least, they handed my change back to me the right way. If you're in the area, stop by. They've earned it.

August 28, 2009

Go to Parties

Once upon a time, a coworker angrily confided in me that no one from work was coming to her party. I stupidly replied, "Well, it's probably because none of us are REALLY friends. We're just coworkers. Do you really want people to come to your party that don't really want to be there?" She quickly replied, "When you get invited to a party, you should go." Needless to say, I attended said party I had been planning on getting out of. I have since learned that she's right. Go to parties when you're invited. It really means a lot to the people planning it. And it's good for you, too.

August 27, 2009

If the Shoe Fits…and It’s Gucci…

I was recently discussing the TLC show "What Not to Wear" with a group of people, when an individual began arguing against the obvious fact that the male fashion guru on the show, Clinton Kelly, was gay. I have experienced this many times in work environments with new hires as well. Same thing with American Idol runner up, Adam Lambert, this past year. Some people seem bent on ferociously denying the possibility. It's not that I don't see the harm or unfairness in quick generalizations. If these deniers simply reminded me it's none of my business, they'd be right, and I'd shut up. It's just the loud and adamant denial that confuses me. Every time in high school or college, when I thought a kid was gay, if they would deny it, I would absolutely believe them. Since then, each one has come out. The lesson I learned, right or wrong, was that if you think they're gay, you're right.

August 26, 2009

Too Open Minded

If I ask you what kind of music you like, and you say you like it all...I hate you. Do not trust these people's musical opinions. These are the same types of people that eat at buffets.

August 25, 2009

The PR Side of Health Care Reform

Let's take a look at some of these universal health care bill proposals from a PR perspective. Whenever a group finds something in one of these bills they're against (the possibility of a doctor making an end-of-life decision for the patient, federal funding of abortions), they go into an uproar. And the White House always responds with, "Oh, that's just a misinterpretation of the bill." I have yet to hear an advocate of these health care proposals say something to the effect of, "Of course there's going to be some limitations if you sign up for the government-run plan. We don't have infinite dollars, so there are unfortunately going to be some situations where a physician will have to choose not to prolong life by 'all means necessary'. It's a limitation of this plan, but for the millions of people who can't afford any health care at all right now, it's a much better situation to be in." IF I heard this response, I would not only accept this, but be pleased to learn that these people aren't living in a fantasy world. Until them, I'm not sure what to think. Now, it's very likely they do understand this, but are being told NOT to offer any sound-bytes that detract from the infallibility of the plan, due to the leverage this would give detractors. But, how dumb do they think we are? From a strict PR standpoint, in order to win over the majority of Americans, do you play it straight and argue the advantages of universal coverage, or play dumb, and deny any and all downside?

August 24, 2009

Why William Henry Harrison Sucked: The Song

#9. William Henry Harrison. Lyrics and chords can be found on YouTube.

August 21, 2009

Aurelios Pizza Marketing Blowup

Yesterday, Aurelios Pizza, my favorite thin-crust pizza place in Chicago celebrated their 50th anniversary by offering their pizzas at their 1959 prices. $1.75 for a small, etc. An amazing deal.

Now, marketing gurus will tell you this is typically a bad marketing practice. Aurelios is a premium pizza company. For one day, they are attracting cheapskates who would never pay $11 for a small pizza, and are simply upgrading their Little Caesars for the night.

This is the same reason most marketing experts believe you should never give a product away for free. It diminishes the value of it. A buy one, get one free tactic is more widely approved.

Regardless, I was excited to take advantage of their marketing mistake. I called to place my order, and was quickly informed that they had run out of cheese.

You're infuriating your loyal customers, while not truly winning over any newbies. What a horrible, horrible marketing idea.

August 20, 2009

I Prefer My Personality

I was recently put in close proximity with some people that were not all too close friends of mine. And I found I had completely forgotten that all people don't roughly have the same personality. For instance, all of my close friends have more or less, my personality traits. It's because we get along so well that they have become my close friends. It's not proximity or chance. I have chosen them. But, experiencing life with only these people has made me forget how aggravating certain personality types are, and how much I prefer my own. I'm going to call my personality "courteous." I am polite, legitimately curious about other people's lives, stay engaged when they're speaking, and do not think it's funny to put people down. Why wouldn't this personality win over in the Darwinistic survival of the friendliest? To put it differently, why wouldn't these people adopt my personality? I'm certain it would benefit them.

August 19, 2009

Why Martin Van Buren Sucked: The Song

#8. Martin Van Buren
Lyrics can be found on the YouTube page itself.

August 18, 2009

Baby Stroller Thief

You know those moms who do their morning runs with their babies in those rolling strollers? 1) If I stole a baby, that's the first thing I'd put them in. I could run away from the scene of the crime and it wouldn't look suspicious. 2) Do you remember how annoying it was to rollerblade on the sidewalk when you were a kid? Your blades sinking into the sidewalk cracks every few feet? Do those cracks give babies little tiny headaches?