July 29, 2010

Thin: Clothing Store Concept

Thin. A clothing store that exclusively sells thin cotton clothing.

You know that one old t-shirt you always wear because it's so soft and breathable? That's your whole wardrobe now. From casual to business casual. Plus, people will like walking into a store named "Thin", because it'll make them feel slender. Yes, they might think the store only sells Kate Bosworth-sizes at first. But, that could get us some good PR. So, what do you think? May I have your $200,000 in start-up funds now?

July 28, 2010

Tell People “Why”

"Breathe through your nose, Olsen!" my high school cross-country coach would yell at me.

I thought he was just trying to punish me. I thought it was some sort of evil lung endurance training. What I didn't know was that breathing through your nose while running is the fastest way to get oxygen to your lungs.

But I thought he was being mean, and ignored him.
Lesson for the day: Don't just tell people what to do. Tell them why.

July 27, 2010

Lost 25 Pounds Eating the “Same” Food

I currently weigh 175.  I haven't been this low since I got married. And I've been trying to figure out why. Because my eating habits haven't changed dramatically - in terms of food type and food quantity. But what has changed is the quality of the food itself.

Because Food, Inc. freaked me out. And since then, I've gone a lot more organic. With milk. Meat. Cereal. Chips. Condiments.

I really try to stay away from buying stuff with high-fructose corn syrup in it and other crazy amounts of preservatives. Because I'm becoming more and more confident that my body simply didn't know what to do with those things. Evolutionally speaking, high fructose corn syrup is like plastic to our body. It's completely unrecognizable. And how can your body adapt when it doesn't know what's going on inside of you.

Help a body out.

July 26, 2010

American Soccer Fans Don’t Want You

American soccer fans don't want you. They like liking the sport that no one else does. Especially in America. It's theirs. And they like it that way.

It's the same reason why I don't really want you to know that M. Ward's Post-War Album is probably one of the greatest single albums in American music. It's mine. And I like the fact that I found it myself. And if you guys all started liking it, I'm no longer original.

I might as well just play Bon Jovi records and watch Sex in the City.

July 23, 2010

One-Liner Fridays

You know what I don't understand? Malaria nets! What kind of crazy super-villain fisherman are buying these things and  going around trying to catch it anyway?

July 22, 2010

Cell Phones in Church

This past week at church, a 13-ish year old girl in front of me spent the entire service texting. I can only assume this will be a growing problem, and I also assume that some churches will publicize a "texting" ban in services.

Why don't we work harder on engaging this girl instead?

Improving our communication styles. Shortening our sermons. Making the information more relevant She's not the only one who gets bored in church. The rest of us are just too scared to publicly show it.

July 21, 2010

Clothing: The Ultimate Age “Tell”

"How old do you think she is?"

Sometimes it's easy to guess. But do you realize why? It's not always wrinkles. For one, it's because hair styles are generational. No teenage girls have the "mom" hair cut. But the single greatest clue we have is clothing.

I recently made the mistake of assuming that a 40-year old man from our church was IN the youth group he was leading. He was shocked at my mistake.

But the dude dresses hip. He dresses like the 16-year old kids he's in charge of. And 99% of 40 year old's don't. For the most part, they give up trying to look 20 around 30. Or perhaps it's simply that what you wear when you're 20 doesn't stay hip through an extra two decades of fashion?

Now, I want to follow this guy's lead. I want to fool people. Because before this, I had no idea how much clothes made the boy. But they really do.

July 20, 2010

There IS Such a Thing as Bad Publicity

Recently, an 11-year old girl got some Internet notoriety for her foul mouth and highly provocative language on an online video chatting site. During one of these recorded chats, when someone calls her a lewd name, she replies, "Anything for fame." That idea simply never made sense to me. And this is coming from a guy who, from the age of 8, always assumed he would BE famous one day. I think the difference is simply that I wanted to achieve something the fame would arise from. I want to be the guy who takes the suck out of Christian music. I want to be the guy who makes people re-question the blind authority we give our leaders. I want to write things that make people question the way they live. The idea of getting to be famous without earning it doesn't seem fun.

July 19, 2010

I Love First Impressions

I start my new job today.

It's too late to fake an accent, because I met most of these people during the interview process. But what aspects of my personality should I most try to reflect this first week? And what should I hide?

After all, it's blank slate time. I could be anyone. What should my first first impression be?

July 18, 2010

I Have My Oil Drenched Baby!

Remember on Monday when I said we needed to see a baby drenched in oil in order to really empathize with the Gulf Spill. Artist Jane Fulton obviously understands this. Check out her work.