So, since I didn't have cable growing up, the commercials for Sybaris pool suites were about the raciest thing I saw. Even before I understood marital exploration, the idea of a waterslide in a bedroom seemed awesome to me. So, somehow, that childhood suggestion stuck with me, and when I was looking for a place to spend my first night with my bride, I researched Sybaris and got on their e-mail list for special rates. I ended up choosing somewhere else, but I recently got an e-mail from them advertising a special rate. The rate was only good from Noon-2 PM on a weekday. Classy.