My friend recently went to New York on a business trip and was approached by a prostitute (higher-end) in a bar at a hotel he was staying at. He was telling me this story and I could tell that I wasn't giving him the reaction he was expecting, but I couldn't figure out what he was looking for. Then I realized, he wanted me to be impressed. The moral of his story was, "I was approached by a woman who wanted to have sex with me." Well done sir.

So, a lot of people my age are getting married. That can make a lot of my single friends depressed. When kids younger than me get record deals, that can make me depressed. When someone who's dumber than me has a better job than me, that can make me depressed. The problem is that we're comparing ourselves to the wrong people. For instance, whenever I hear a story about a friend whose car broke down, I always get cheered up a little, because my car's fine. There needs to be a television show that only shows biographies of the disabled or something, so instead of saying, "dang't, i wish i was taller, you could say man, i'm glad I'm not that guy who still wears a diaper."