October 28, 2009

Why Abraham Lincoln Sucked: The Song


#16. Abraham Lincoln

Em, G, D

land of lincoln
what were you thinking?
you talk pretty
don’t mean you’re right
you killed slavery
but you also paid for thee
6 hundred 20 thousand men died

I will preserve the union
at all costs you said
and that’s exactly what you did what you did

habeus shmabeus
maybe this would be a good time to shut your mouth
or I’ll throw you in jail
with the other 18,000, you cynics and critics can all go to

the sad thing is
for the cost of the war
you could have bought and freed
every slave you’re fighting for...
let me repeat that in case you didn’t hear that

in fact more than that
could have sent them on their way
with 40 acres and a mule
have a nice free day
and all this for
the costs of the war
minus the dead men
and that begs a question

what were you fighting for?
what were you fighting for?
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October 27, 2009

The Halloween Line of Prudishness

There was a Christian lady in our neighborhood who would give out little cartoon Bible stories to us trick-or-treaters in lieu of candy. This is the equivalent of leaving a waitress a little message that she should repent of her wickedness on the receipt in lieu of a tip. Non-relational evangelism never works. In fact, we sort of talked about that yesterday. But, one could argue that lady was on the liberal side of the Christian spectrum, in that some Christians choose not to participate in the "satanic" holiday at all. I asked my parents about this when I was kid, and they said, "Our neighbors are freely giving out something our kids love. We'd be monsters to keep you caged inside that day." To their credit, I escaped these childhood nights without a conversion to the dark side. But, as a Christian, there's something about hangmen decorations that freak me out. The morbidity of a recently executed human as a holiday decoration simply creeps me out to the point where I don't feel it's appropriate even for a holiday. My question is, is this just a Christian thing? Am I just a step down from the bible story lady in our subdivision growing up? As always, I need consensus to rationalize my lifestyle choices. So, if you're a non-Christian who is creeped out by hangmen, comment below. And if you're a Christian who decorates their home with the deceased, do the same.
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