November 25, 2009

Why James Garfield Sucked: The Song


#20. James A. Garfield

C, Em, G, D/F#

when I say Reagan, you say president.
Jefferson, kennedy, you say president.
I say Lincoln, you say president
I say Garfield, you say cat

Garfield spent his presidency
trying to make his enemies
angry at the fact that he in fact did win

Roscoe conkling, enemy one
wanted a little recognition
Garfield said no way
I won, you lost, the piper’s got to pay

spite’s what made up his cabinet
4 months later, he died to fit
shot by a man who wanted in
shouted the stalwarts would rise again

that’s why we know the cat over the man
a lesson for all you kids out there
you pick a fight
you’re going to get shot in the spine

when I say Garfield
you say president
Garfield. Odie!
Garfield. Lasagna!

see, it’s not that easy
you shouldn’t have been so sleazy
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November 24, 2009

Second-Hand Curry

Landlords currently have the right to refuse lodging to smokers. Should landlords have the right to refuse service to people who cook traditional Indian fare? I lived in a majority Indian apartment complex the year after college. The complex itself smelled noticeably of curry. I got used to it. But, when I transferred my coat closet to my new apartment the next year, I realized that my coats were ruined. Last week, I attended a non-Indian friend's party. Walking in the door, I was overcome with the odor. Our theory is that a neighbor above or below must cook Indian fare, and the fragrance comes through the vents. After this 6-hour event, our clothes were married to the spice. While second-hand smoking laws are obviously present due to the health risks involved, and second-hand curry is merely a nuisance - if you were a landlord, would you be worried about leasing to Indian tenants?
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