For the past 8 weeks since my daughter entered the world, I have engaged in conversations with others - not really paying attention to what they're saying.
Because I don't care.
I can't. My insomniac head is completely drained of any remaining empathy. It's all been used on myself. Our daughter is, statistically, a horrifically fussy child. And we have also learned that she will need two serious kidney surgeries within the first year of her life.
Because of that, I haven't cared what's going on with those around me. And it makes me feel horrible. I listen to their stories, thinking to myself, "that's awful!" but without "feeling" awful in the slightest.
Is this what Californians feel like all the time?