The Cubs just signed Alfonso Soriano to a long-term ginormous contract that will guarantee him $17 million dollars as a 39-year-old, when he is currently 31 and coming off a .277 season with 160 strikeouts. And yet, Cubs fans everywhere are rejoicing. I would like to see this unbridled, ignorant, optimistic passion from our democratically appointed electorate. Not because it works, simply because it's a lot more fun.