December 20, 2010

11 Things I Learned in Hawaii

1. Don't Bring Your Baby on a Plane
I had this idea a while ago. That some airline should come out with baby-free flights. Now that I experienced a red-eye flight with an entire row of babies, and the worst one of all was a 3-year diapers, I think it's time for an airline to offer a 5 years and up rule for select flights.

2. Asian Stereotypes are Weirdly True
On our way to the hotel, our shuttle driver made an insulting stereotype about Japanese people that appalled us. Claiming that their social spatial bearings were terrible. He didn't receive a tip. After a week in Oahu, I think he's right. It's bizarre. We had an inordinate amount of experiences where people wouldn't follow typical social mores (getting out of one's path, etc.) Whether it has to do with coming from a more densely populated location, or the fact that I hate people, it was weird. But some sort of genetic social awkwardness might explain the lack of Asians in American professional sports. Although, their flattering body mass index might explain that as well.

3. Asians are Short
The shower in our hotel was built precisely for my 5'3" wife. I felt like a giant.

4. I Love Asians
After all my comments about how much I loved the Asian people we were meeting on our trip, my wife suggested it was because their size didn't allow them to intimidate me...I think she's right. Still trying to figure out the Freudian creep-show with that, but I think she's on to something.

5. Golf in Hawaii is Better Than Anyplace Else
I played at Luana Hills Country Club. And it felt like I was playing in Jurassic Park. You know why? Because that area is where they filmed Jurassic Park! Jungle golf is unreal.

6. Wailua Bay Beach is My Favorite Place in the World
Not much comes close. The water is turquoise. The beach is white and soft. And the crowds are on Waikiki. It's perfect.

7. Our "Continual Wedding Album" Continued in Oahu
Many of you made fun of this idea when we started it. But it's turned into one of my all time favorite things. You can view our Facebook album here.

8. Great Service is as Important as Great Food
We got the opportunity to eat at Allan Wong's, touted in Gourmet Magazine as their #8 best restaurant in the world. The food was lovely. But more impressive than that was the service. (We had never been in a fancy-schmancy restaurant like that before). The courtesy. The kindness. The staff coming to a halt when my wife stood up to find the bathroom. The way another staff member walked her there. It was perfect. And just as my 25% gratuity to our waiter seemed almost too low, I now feel that my typical 20% raise to the wait staff at Chili's is incredibly high for what you get out of it, which is simply your food brought to you.

9. Are You Sure You're a Doctor?
Someone got sick on both our to and return flights. Each time, a flight attendant asked over the loud speaker if there was a doctor on board. One lady jumped up, started walking back, and the flight attendant said, "Are you a doctor? A nurse?" She replied, "A physical therapist...well, uh, I have a doctorate." My wife, also a physical therapist, rolled her eyes and stayed seated. What did this lady think she was possibly going to be able to do in that situation? Fortunately, an RN was also on board, and our ambitious friend quickly returned to her seat.

10. Hawaii Makes You Hot
Within a week, my skin became baby smooth and my post-nasal drip was gone. An hour back in evil Chicago, and it all came back.

11. Hawaiians love that Hawaii 5-0 is Being Made
Every night, we heard ratings news about the new Hawaiian remake on the evening news.

We had a wonderful time!