If Jim Carey makes $400 million a year making crappy films, most people are ok with that because they don't have to see the film. If a CEO of a computer company makes $400 million a year, and the company does bad, people start talking about legislating salary ceiling laws, even though they are not forced to work, take ownership or shop at said business. Is it because Jim Carey is funny?

So, here's my problem. Many people love to talk. But, many of these people are also very boring. e.g. "So, I was at the store last tuesday, or maybe it was wednesday, no, definitely tuesday, yeah, 'cause it was right after she called me about that thing, anyway..." And yet, if I spin my finger to get people to skip to the point, they are rightfully insulted. So, I am looking for us to develop a universal symbol or phrase to signal the speaker that "this train of thought is unnecessary to the point." any ideas? Obviously, teaching the world the life skill of empathizing with the listener would be a more mutually beneficial long-term solution, but in the short-term, I'm just looking to get out of some of these avoidable time wasters.

"Communism works in theory, but not in practice." Ever hear this? There is an inherent flaw in this logic. Let's say I claim to have a magic ring that makes people want to give me money when I wear it. But, the ring does not work. Was it a good theory? No. I liked the theory, because I was looking forward to the results that the theory promised. But, it was a terrible theory, because there was no good reason to believe that it would make good on the promise. It was mere wishful thinking.

(continuation) #9. William Henry Harrison On March 4, 1841, Harrison took the oath of office and then proceeded to deliver the longest inaugural address in the history of the Presidency, in the cold, without a coat, hat or gloves. The cold he came down with after this speech turned into pneumonia a few weeks later after getting caught outside during a rainstorm. Harrison died exactly one month into his term on April 4.

We see a boy with down's syndrome, and consider it a tragedy. We think to ourselves, "How sad. He won't even really be able to learn." Then maybe he was created to teach?

In May of 2003, I was in a meeting where a man made a joke about 9/11. Everyone in the room was dumbfounded. Today, I was in a meeting where a man made a joke about 9/11. 80% of the room laughed.

My friend's getting married. So, I went to Target.com to pick something out from his registry. I did not know he was registered here. But, it has become my default store to guess first. Probably about an 80% success rate. And success today. But, the wedding date did not match his wedding date. So, I got confused. But, with matching bride and groom and bride names, and an Illinois wedding...I felt pretty safe purchasing. It also made me think of an idea. Find a couple who's getting married. Maybe look in your local paper for engagement announcements. See if they're registered at Target.com. If not, you go and register at Target.com under their names and have the gifts shipped to your address. Then, send gracious thank you cards for every gift you receive. Everybody wins.

Theory #1: Kids grow up too fast. They're seeing things and experiencing things that ruin their innocence too early in life. Theory #2: Kids don't grow up fast enough. There are too many 22-year-olds out there who have no idea what responsibility means. Which way do you lean? 'cause I think both are right. But, it's not just the "innocence" that I'm worried about kids losing. It's the fact they love unconditionally. They forgive blindly. Their dad can be the biggest jerk in the world, and they still want to hug him. When do we lose that?

Alright, we haven't offended anyone in a couple days. So, it's about time. Could a very effeminate male be considered, in terms of gender, a female? And therefore, if they are also homosexual, is their natural desire for a male unnatural, or actually very natural?

Let's say a tourist is visiting this country and gets mugged. He'll go home thinking this country sucks and might preach against the consequences of freedom in his country. So, next time you see a tourist, give him $5. He might go home and change the world.