I make money as an advertising writer. And unfortunately, writing is something that anyone can do. And I strictly mean this from a "technical" standpoint. You can hold a pen. You write e-mails. And therefore, many people/companies think they don't need an expert in this field, forgetting that it's not just words that inspire action, but the right ones. Likewise, those who eat 3 meals a day too often fancy themselves as food critics. You're not. Just like watching movies doesn't make you a film critic, and just like driving a car doesn't help you understand what's under the hood. So, don't pretend to be one. Stop recommending chain restaurants. Stop trying to have an opinion. Just say, I'm easily satisfied, and I like pretty much everything. Because that's ok, it just doesn't help the rest of us discover our next local "find".

"Don't waste your bullets on a dead horse. - Eric Olsen, 2010

"That rug really tied the room together, did it not?" Maybe in this audience, 20% of you will recognize that line. In a normal social setting, probably 5%. Here's the thing about quoting slightly obscure references. Don't be shocked when people don't get them, and especially don't insult people for not getting the reference. It's not like they shoved your mother down a flight of stairs. They just haven't seen all of the obscure 70s films that you have. EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE: When I'm doing a podcast to a mass audience, I intentionally throw little one-liner easter eggs in all the time. I don't explain them. I don't pause the show and make others guess what I'm talking about. I do it for the 5% that will get a kick out of it. And I don't bother the other 95%. TAKEAWAY: If you constantly seem to find yourself in these situations, where people are too stupid to pick up on your delightfully witty sense of humor, stop trying. Marry one of the 5% who get you, and live happily ever after. Maybe you're just ahead of your time.

One night, a husband and wife were watching television together, when a fictional couple on the show "Friends" agreed to create a "list". The "list" would contain 5 people that each person was allowed to have sex with, without consequences, if the situation ever arose. The wife watching the show with her husband thought it was a hysterical idea, and decided they should make their own lists. "It's just for fun. A fantasy. You can make a list of any 5 people, and if you ever get a chance to sleep with them, I won't be mad. Seriously." The husband, hiding his sadness, reluctantly agreed. The wife (almost too quickly) filled out her list, still laughing at the idea, and handed it over for her husband's review. Jude Law. George Clooney. David Beckham. Jake Gyllenhaal. Ryan Reynolds. The husband quietly read his wife's fantasies, then handed over his own list, only two entries filled out. Your sister. My secretary. The moral of the story: Don't play games like this. Don't talk about celebrities being hot in front of your spouse. Don't rationalize it by saying "it's not like I'd actually do anything about it." It's not only the action that's wrong. The long-term goal is for that desire to not even be there. And even if comments like that don't bother you, odds are, they probably bother your spouse. Even if only a little, why do it? And honestly, if they don't bother you, they should. You shouldn't take pride in the fact that "you're not a jealous type" or that "you trust your spouse." You should absolutely be jealous of your love.

I think it would have gone pretty much the same way. Tiger comes back, has some miraculous shots, but quickly reverts back to his non-gentlemen self, cursing up a storm. Where nerdy little Phil Mickelson (whom I never liked until this tournament) plays ridiculously good golf, all while being totally respectful of the game. When Tiger finished up his round in 4th place, no one was there to greet him. When Phil finished, his wife, who has been heroically fighting breast cancer this past year, and bed-ridden the last few days of the tournament, celebrates with all of her might alongside their beautiful family. The winner won. Speilberg couldn't have written it any better. Perhaps God did.

Last August, weeks before an episode had even aired, a couple of friends and I started a podcast about the ABC show, FlashForward. This first to market strategy paid off. It caught the attention of one of the lead writers on the show, Quinton Peeples, who has been a source and friend ever since. And since then, he has been promoted to co-producer. Now, we chat routinely with him as well as the show's Executive Producer, Jessika Borsickzy. Early on in our show's history, Iain Mackinnon called in one week with some thoughts from Scotland. Loved his voice. Loved his enthusiasm. Loved his insights. So he became a weekly contributor on the show. Last week, they introduced a new character on the show... Ian McKinnon. This is what living in the 21st century is like. It's wild. It's crazy. And it's all about who you know. And yes I'm jealous, but I've been told I'm getting a shout-out in episode 20. I'll keep you posted.

is predominantly white. Pssh. Figures. That completely changes how I view their ideas. Yes, this is a rebuttal to the generalization that the "Tea Party movement is probably racist, because their members are mostly white."

People use this phrase a lot. If you decide to carefully point out an egregious flaw in someone's life, you might be rebutted with the Biblical maxim, "Judge not lest ye be judged." But I think we're using that phrase the wrong way. That verse means you shouldn't be a hypocrite and throw someone under the bus who's doing the same things you do. It doesn't mean you shouldn't judge the action itself. And it doesn't mean you should let your friends continue in their idiocy without pointing it out.

It's too easy to be good. I've already made the claim of how the addition of clapping in pop songs is unfair. Because it's contagious. It gets you into a groove without any work at all. The beats behind rap music are an exaggerated exploitation of this effect. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. You're in. Before any words come out. Before any melody. They have you. You're grooving. So, regardless of what comes next, people already kind of like the song. So, the path of least resistance says I'm going to throw some crap lyrics in that rhyme with club, bling, dope, lady and call it a hit. It's too easy for rap music to be good, and therefore, it's rarely great.

Once at my old job, we found out our janitor had been throwing away our recycling with the garbage. Shocked, we started telling people, and quite a few immediately responded with "Don't tell me that!" Why is our first course of action to protect our ignorance? As if doing something to change the situation is not an option.