June 15, 2009

Not Impressed

Why would we be impressed with ourselves if the United states nationalized health care? As if it were some giant point of enlightenment in our country's history? Ooh, look, we made a law that makes it illegal not to fund our single-payer health care system. That's not impressive. That's simply coercion. Now, if a group of people got together, formed a not-for-profit and sought private donations in order to pay for the medical bills of the disadvantaged... I would be impressed by that.

June 12, 2009

I Want My Favorite Bands to Be Miserable

I have noticed a direct inverse correlation between the happiness of musicians and the greatness of their music. As my rock idols enter out of dangerous relationships and into successful marriages (Ben Harper) and out of drug-induced bondage into clean and sober living (Jeff Tweedy of Wilco), their music suffers. The angst is gone. Where music used to serve as an outlet, a necessity to work out inner-turmoil, instead, they are just out enjoying life. And we all have to suffer because of it.

June 11, 2009


I take an allergy pill every morning. An antihistamine called Fexofenadine (an Allegra knockoff). And I have the hardest time remembering whether or not I took it. So, I often take another when I can't remember, because I'd rather overdose than get a day-long headache that prevents me from doing any work. I'm not exactly sure what the consequences of OD'ing on antihistamines are, but I can't imagine two is going to kill me. But, what if you're an old senile person on heart medication. How often do these guys kill themselves through prescribed medicine?

June 10, 2009

Getting “It” Out of Your System

Some men look back at their adolescent years with regret, wishing they had sowed more wild oats before settling down. Let's break that logic today. The only reason this idea works is that once you experience "it", "settling down" looks a whole lot better. It's not like "it" is some ecstasy experience you partake of once and then, like a monk, selflessly resign yourself over to a life of estheticism. No one would do that. The only reason getting "it" out of your system works is that you realize how crappy "it" really is. And we can see that even without experiencing it ourselves, due to the fact that so few men choose to reside in that state of life permanently. You don't need to experience AIDS for yourself to realize it sucks. Learn from other's mistakes.

June 9, 2009

Tube Worm

Why are books valued more than television? As if the written word is more intrinsically valuable than visual communication?

June 8, 2009

We Are Not Responsible

...for damage caused by carts. I have seen this sign up in several grocery store parking lots. Really? I don't think just putting up a sign abstains you from legitimate legal action. Because if it does, next time I'm walking into that store with a "I am not responsible for theft." t-shirt.

June 4, 2009


I bought these sunglasses online, and received the package in the mail yesterday. When I opened it, and saw the black carrying purse that came with them, I knew something was wrong. As always, I fought the fact that I might be in error, and tried to force these sunglasses to be uni-sex. Unable to convince myself, I went to the store to exchange them. As I was trying on new frames, the teenage girl sales clerk said, "Wait, did you buy these for yourself!!??" Then, when her manager came to help her put the return in the computer, she felt the need to explain the entire situation to him. My question is, what in that picture would tip you off to the fact that they're lady-frames?

June 3, 2009

Freakonomics: Summer Break

What are teenagers going to do this summer? I'm not sure there are going to be any jobs our there for them. So, let's play a Freakonomics-inspired game of predicting some economic results that will stem from this. I'll start. With more and more teenagers looking to self-entertain themselves this summer, I predict that more will experiment with sex than usual. And with less personal economic resources and with parents with less economic resources, I predict that this summer will likely result in one of the highest abortion rates ever.

June 2, 2009

Ah, To Be Big

Let's say you're Iceland. When international laws are created, e.g. making it illegal to poach an animal close to falling on the endangered species list, you feel much pressure to obey it. Even if the hunting of this animal is a sizable industry for your country, other countries can respond by imposing trade sanctions on you, etc. to the point where it simply isn't worth it to fight them. But, if you're bigger than the country who could impose the sanction on you, they would be afraid to do anything in fear of any economic retaliation. Yes, you know what I'm hinting at. It's time to take Canada.

June 1, 2009

Debit or Credit?

Every time I use my credit card, the business has to pay a 3% fee on the total purchase to the credit card company. The only reason I use my credit card is because I get 1% cash back through my dividends credit card. So, what if I was given a different incentive? Let's say my local Chinese restaurant offers me a 1.5% discount on my purchase if I use my debit card? I still don't have to carry cash, which I hate. He cuts his transaction costs in half (with a debit card, the retailer usually pays a nominal $0.10 fee per transaction). And I get 50% more cash back on every purchase.