Does this product breadth weird anyone else out?

As a kid, don't you remember seeing R.I.P. on Halloween decorations and thinking negatively of the connotation? I don't think I ever really thought of it as an acronym for "rest in peace" but more as a sign that the deceased's life was ending by being RIPped apart by something. Maybe we think of R.I.P in a morbid sense because it is? The idea that the dead are simply "resting" sounds like something you'd tell a 3-year-old who couldn't understand why his goldfish was floating at the top of the tank.

The prostitutionary process of flashing for wares makes sense to me from an economic standpoint. But, I think girls need to start upping their rates. Unionize or something. I mean, plastic beads? This is a classic example of not understanding your true value in the marketplace. Of course, this argument all falls flat if I'm looking too far into this, and these girls aren't just looking for a cheap buck, but instead are simply girls desperate for attention, still trying to win their daddy's love. But that would just be terribly sad.

My friend made fun of me when I said that every music album should be a concept album. But, why should music be the only art that doesn't have to be about something? The only reason we don't care that most music is typically about stupid relationship-y things is that the music itself is so good. But what if we combined them? Shakespeare's words. Beethoven's songs.

Both in Peoria and up here in the Chicago suburbs, I have had multiple Jimmy Johns employees who have memorized my order and start preparing it when they see me coming in the door. I say that to prepare you for the serious nature of today's topic.

Chips. Jimmy Johns BBQ chips are the best potato chip I've ever had. For years, I have longed for them to sell them at the grocery store in bigger bags. But, the next best thing has happened.

Meijer has begun to sell kettle cooked BBQ chips that are nearly identical. I say nearly, because the Jimmy Johns ones are slightly more flavorful, with a huge peanut oil kick. But on the other side, you can get a giant bag of Meijer chips for only slightly more than a single serving bag of Jimmy Johns chips costs in store.

This is the only picture that I can find, so look for the red version of the bag (BBQ). And be prepared to thank me.

(a continuation) #18. Ulysses S. Grant Grant came into office with extreme popularity as the general who led the Union to victory over the Confederate States. Once there, he decided to fill his cabinet based on friendships rather than qualifications. While far from the only President to do this, the sheer amount of abuses and corruption committed by these appointees not only under his watch but his awareness bewilders historians to this day.

(a continuation) #17. Andrew Johnson In 1867, Johnson vetoed the Tenure of Office Act, which would forbid the President from removing certain public officials without Senate consent. His veto was overridden and the act became law. Johnson refused to accept this decision and dismissed his Secretary of War, Edwin Stanton, for undermining his policies. He underestimated the Senate's willingness to allow blatant affronts to Federal Law, however, and he was quickly impeached.

(a continuation) #16. Abraham Lincoln Despite the South's constitutional right to secede, Lincoln was determined to preserve the Union at all costs. These included suspending the writ of habeas corpus and imprisoning more than 18,000 of his critics. And despite Lincoln's legacy as a liberator, the Emancipation Proclamation only freed the slaves in certain rebel states, in the hopes of ushering a slave uprising that would help the Northern cause. Plus, even if you forget about the approximately 620,000 American soldier and civilian deaths that transpired, Lincoln could have bought, freed and gave every single slave in America 40 acres of land and a mule for less than the monetary costs of the war alone.

(a continuation) #15. James Buchanan While elected by many out of hope he would be able to bring about the unity necessary to permanently prevent Southern secession, Buchanan himself gave up this prospect after his inability to convince the North of the South's constitutional rights nor properly warn the South of the consequences of secession. He made it clear that he would not seek a second term, and the country resigned as well, knowing that secession was well on its way.

Happy President's Day! In honor, we're going to continue our study of Presidential suckiness all week. (a continuation) #14. Franklin Pierce Because the nation of Cuba was so near the United States, Franklin Pierce decided that he should be allowed to take it from Spain, its current and distant owner. The Ostend Manifesto declared his desire to purchase Cuba for $120 million, and threatened that a refusal to sell would justify the United States in "wresting it from Spain." While some critics saw this simply as a ploy to add power to the Southern states, others were shocked at the total affront and disregard for international law.