July 31, 2008

Rethinking Rhetoric

"He's all rhetoric." This was Hillary Clinton's argument against Barack Obama's celebrity gained through his superior oratory skills. And I'm sure it's an argument we'll continue to hear up 'til November. So, let's redefine the word. Rhetoric is simply the ability to use language effectively. It's a science. It's a communication skill. And it's extremely effective. You could be saying all the right things. But if you're not getting attention, or capturing any imagination, it's ineffective. Rhetoric should be admired. If nothing else, because it works.

July 29, 2008

All the Cool Kids are Doing It

If marketing cigarettes to children is illegal, then shouldn't the kid trying to get his friends to try them be arrested?

July 28, 2008

eMission? Impossible!

My wife's car was up for emissions testing this weekend. This because of regulation meant to ensure that our exhaust pipes are only letting out a certain amount of evilness into the world. So, I drove over to the next town where the testing facility was and sat in line for 22 minutes in that hot summer sun with the other 30 or so cars at any given time on both sides of me, in idle, as we waited to get the documented approval that we were doing our part to save the world.

July 25, 2008

Leave it to Our Imagination

Most authors are required to convey their message through words alone. They allow us to envision worlds and ideas that they create without offering a single image. And yet, they always put their mug on the book jacket in the "About the Author" section. This is a mistake around 95% of the time. I like it better thinking you're not a nerd. Let me envision you. Stick to words. You're great at it.

July 24, 2008

You Know What Germany Needs?

A Superstar Athlete. Imagine you're on Family Feud. The question comes up, "Name a Famous German." Who's the #1 answer going to be? That's pretty bad public relations.

July 23, 2008

The Safest Job in the World

The IT guy. You know why? We have no idea whether or not they're doing a good job. We have a problem. They come by. And since they are able to do slightly more to help the problem than simply restarting (even though that's their advice half the time) we give them the benefit of the doubt that they know what they're doing. They could be terrible. We simply don't know better. It's a great gig.

July 22, 2008

“How’s it Going?”

"Good." This is not an answer, because that reply has lost all meaning in regards to the question, "How's it going?" If things are actually going really well for you, I deem your reply of "good" to be "about the same as every other day." And if you're actually going through a rough time right now, I'm already walking past you and getting out of earshot as you're trying to think of a one-word response that accurately depicts your current emotional state, and instead you just let out a, "Good." So, here's what I'm looking for. Short, realistic answers to the question of "How's it going?" that will force people to either follow up or realize that it's a bad greeting in the first place.

July 21, 2008

I Am Congress Man

What would a successful Congressman look like to his district? Someone who brings home as MANY federal dollars to the district for internal improvements as possible. Do you see the problem here?

July 18, 2008

Why Every President Sucked

(continuation) #10. John Tyler The Vice President of William Henry Harrison, John Tyler was the first President to enter office due to the death of an active President. And while this automatic replacement is tradition now, his assumption of this power was quite a source of contention at the time. Shortly after taking office, Tyler added to this contention by separating himself from his Whig party and refusing to support the majority legislation coming from either party. Although confident in his strict adherence to the Constitution and belief in states rights, he was unable to convince anyone else of this, and because so, was easily defeated in the next election.

July 17, 2008

Oh Man, What’s He Bringing?

Don't you think the phrase should be "the pallbearer of bad news?" I think that makes more sense.